Let’s be clear about one thing—I’ve emptied my fair share of two-buck-chuck and $5 bottles of Kroger wine, and I will continue to unashamedly do so until my paycheck grows exponentially. But, my mother also instilled in me a deep appreciation for a good winery trip and a giddy, Christmas morning-like excitement at bringing home a full box of new wines to try.
I am by no means an expert, but I have picked up a few tips along the way that may save you from being totally lost in your own Kroger’s wine aisle and some terms that can make you sound really grown-up and impressive when you’re at your next happy hour.
Terms to Know: The Grown-Up ABCs
- Aroma: how a wine smells (surprise).
- Balance: the relationship between acidity, sweetness, tannins and alcohol content in a wine.
- Body: how heavy the wine feels in your mouth; fuller-bodied wines typically have a higher alcohol content.
- Bouquet: how a wine smells after it’s been aged for a while.
- Finish: the aftertaste a wine leaves in your mouth; used to judge the quality of a wine.
- Length: how long the finish/aftertaste stays in your mouth; a long length is generally considered a sign of high quality.
- Tannins: the substance in wine that adds bitterness; red wines have a higher tannin content than white.
- Vintage: the year in which the grapes were grown and harvested.
The Basics: Whites vs Reds
As with all things wine-related, there is debate over whether or not some wines are sweet or dry, full-bodied or light. But because this is my list, I’m going to base it off my own opinions and tell you that’s the way it really is, because that’s the beauty of writing things on the internet.
White wines are going to fall into two basic categories—dry or sweet—and they’re going to taste either dry or sweet (pretty simple, right). If you’re looking for a dry white wine, stick with a Sauvignon Blanc or a Chardonnay. A good Riesling or Pinot Grigio will be a little sweeter, and Moscato will be super sweet (think cupcakes in liquid form).
When it comes to reds, you can separate them into light-, medium- and full-bodied types (although they can be dry or sweet as well). Pinot Noir and Lambrusco (my personal favorite) are two light-bodied red wines, and I’d stick a Merlot into the medium category. If you’re going for a serious red wine because you don’t play around, get a full-bodied Cabernet Sauvignon or a Malbec.
There are about a trillion other wine types I didn’t mention, but these are going to be the ones you’ll see most often on the store shelves or a wine list, so start here and then branch out once you find what you like.
Serving & Storing Your Wine
Wine is kind of temperamental, but the whole point to serving it at specific temperatures and drinking it from specific glasses is to get the best taste you possibly can. Now, will you—the amateur wine drinker who’s previous experience is limited to the boxed variety and the occasional glass on a dinner date—really be able to taste the difference? Maybe, maybe not, but it wouldn’t hurt to try it.
There’s some debate over the ideal serving temperatures for wine, but the numbers are all close enough to basically be the same. If you want to get really picky, red wine should be served between 55-65 degrees F, and white wine between 45-55 degrees F. Quick and easy tip: chill your white wine, and let your red sit out at room temperature for about half an hour before drinking it. But hey, if you don’t care and want to just pop that cork and down the bottle while taking a bubble bath, that’s okay too. Live your life.
When it comes to serving your wine in the proper type of wine glass, you can take a look at this handy infographic that will probably simultaneously overwhelm you and make you want to go to Ikea. If you’d rather spend your money on the actual wine rather than glasses to drink it out of, just grab a few standard red wine glasses or tumblers and a couple of champagne flutes and you’ll be set. Teacups are also acceptable.
Opened wine, even red wine, should always be stored below room temperature (aka stick it in the fridge), because the lower temperatures slow down the chemical processes that kill it. Re-corked wine can typically last in the fridge an extra 3-5 days—some people think it’ll still be good for a couple of weeks, but I’m funny about those things and an open bottle never lasts that long in my house anyway. You can also buy a handy vacuum pump wine preserver to stretch your wine a little longer, but if it takes you more than five days to finish a bottle of wine you should probably stop drinking alone and invite a friend over.
Classic Food Pairings
I’m a firm believer in drinking whatever wine you want with whatever you want to drink it with, but if you want to seem like you know what you’re doing, this basic list might help you the next time you go out to dinner (even though it would require you to know what you’re going to eat before you order your wine, but whatever). We can talk about food and wine pairings for years, but here’s a quick guide:
- Salty foods go well with sparkling wines
- For veggies and flaky fish, go with a dry white
- Spicy Thai food? Grab a Moscato or a Riesling
- Cream-based pasta or shellfish goes well with a rich white like a Chardonnay
- Light-bodied reds pair well with pork chops and poultry
- If you’re having Italian or Spanish food, pour a glass of Merlot or Chianti
- Heavy or gamey meats like beef, lamb or venison go well with a Malbec or Cabernet Sauvignon
Becoming Bradshaw 